Weirdly Shaped and Well Photographed

… a blog about clothing for curves, bras for giant boobs (and tiny backs!), and escaping the scourge of the dreaded BoobLoaf and ButtChest.

The Heart of Haute Milan Dress: Sometimes I Just Want to Feel Pretty

Do you want to know how often I think of you, Gentle Readers?  Enough that I am currently on a train to San Francisco, having gotten up five hours earlier than usual, and I am writing a brog entry.  See?  It’s all the time!  But blogging is SERIOUS BUSINESS, so oftentimes entries get started but aren’t good enough to publish, or they get derailed along the way and never finished, or… Oy.  So many possible issues.  I am committing to finishing this one, though, because I really have to tell you about this dress and the company that makes it.

Attempts to pet the ducks were sadly not successful.

I can’t remember how I first heard about Heart of Haute; it could have been from the beautiful, gracious and oh-so-stylish ladies at June Bugs and Georgia Peaches, or from the Darling Dames online (you know who you are, lovelies), or… Who knows.  I should really write these things down, but then, I should also really do things like blog regularly, keep my apartment clean, not wait so long to get pedicures that there are just asymmetrical blobs of polish left on my big toes… *sigh*  One day.  Anyway, despite being a newcomer to my list of clothing company loves, Heart of Haute is quickly rising to the top.  I don’t know how much of their clothing is friendly to BOUS* yet, but the two pieces I have are wonderful, and I’d like to introduce you to to one of them today.

Continue Reading →

September 7, 2014
by MissShapen
6 Comments

Comexim Geisha Review: With Great Boobies Comes Great Responsibility

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If the prospect of living in a world where trying to respect the basic rights of those around you—and valuing each other simply because we exist—are such daunting, impossible tasks that only a super-hero born of royalty can address them… then what sort of world are we left with? And what sort of world do you want to live in?
-Wonder Woman

Good morrow Gentle Readers!  If you have been paying attention, and I am sure you have, then you will have seen my review last week of Comexim’s Ingrid bra and knickers.  If not, go read that one now, as you’ll want some of the general info contained therein before reading this one (unless you are already pretty familiar with Comexim and Wellfitting.com).  Because that review only JUST went up so recently, I will refrain from including all the same information and just get to the good stuff.  Man, who knew I could write put up three entries in two weeks?  Someone must have ripped the “Q” section out of my dictionary, ’cause I don’t know the meaning of the word “quit.” (That’s from Mystery Men’s Mr. Furious, who incidentally is basically me in superhero form.)

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It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.
-Batman

Now, at this point, you may be thinking, “Now, Miss Shapen, how did you end up choosing a superhero theme for the review of this bra?”  Well, Gentle Readers… that’s a good question.  I really don’t know, to be honest.  I picked the Geisha more or less at random to be the bra that Brack Bridow wore in my Bravengers post, and then… Well, then I thought it was awesome.  Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that when I bought this catsuit, I said to my mom with complete confidence, “I’m TOTALLY going to need this someday!  How could I NOT need a black vinyl catsuit?!”  So there you go.  I am officially the hero of my own story.

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Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It’s the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what’s right.
-Peter Parker/Spiderman

The Geisha bra is cut in Comexim’s standard plunge style, but it really packs a good one-two of style.  *OOF* Anna of Comexim describes it as beige foam (to me the foam seems like more of a cream color) *WHAM!* covered by Italian lace *POW!*.  The lace is black with pink flowers – maybe an undertone of copper on them? – and whitish foliage *ZOK!*, and the cups are topped with thin black lace trim *KHAZAM!*.  The straps are black with a bit of a decorative touch and fully adjustable*KIYAI!*.  It’s really quite lovely, and is sweet without being overly frilly.  I enjoyed pairing it with any black lacy knickers I had available, as it went quite well with any of them (super handy!) *WHABAM!* Continue Reading →

August 14, 2014
by MissShapen
5 Comments

Comexim Ingrid: A Love Story

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…wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world…
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers…
–e. e. cummings

Gentle Readers, this entry is too long in coming.  As some of you know, I absolutely adore the lingerie company Comexim, which not only is one of very few companies that makes my size, but is also pretty much the only company I’ve found that makes bras in my size with underwires graded enough that I’m not being stabbed in the ribs when I wear them.  In addition to all that, their bras come in a wide range of styles, colors, and patterns, and I am constantly lusting after this one or that.  My most coveted bra last season was the Ingrid, a creamy floral little number that seemed to me to be oh-so-feminine and hinting at days long past.  I had to have it.  When it finally arrived, I was instantly besotted.  I think I may have giggled out loud, even.  It was so, so lovely.  “I must review this immediately to show the world how beautiful it is,” I thought.  “There is no time to waste!  I shall ensnare one of my photographers forthwith!”  And I did.  In fact, I did several times, not that it did me much good.  This was last fall, you see, and try as I might, I kept failing to get the photoshoot started before the sun began to set, taking with it the light we needed for our intended shoot, of a woman writing a love letter.  It was tremendously frustrating.

The third time this happened, I was SURE we were going to make it in time.  Sure of it.  I had picked out music to try to embed at the top of the entry for those who wanted some auditory ambiance (if anyone knows a good way to do this, please let me know), had a backstory written in my mind… I was all set.  But no.  While we were doing test shots, the light began changing again, and rapidly.  Every time David got things as he liked, it would all shift again.  This involved a lot of me standing there in my underwear trying to stay warm and keep myself entertained.  At one point, I just started dancing around like an idiot:

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Or maybe I was reciting Shakespeare? I really can’t tell at this point.

And as David clicked away and worked his magic and cursed wildly at malfunctioning equipment, I sort of got sillier and sillier…

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(In case you are wondering, at some point I put the dress on because I had been standing there in my skivvies for ages while camera gear was fussed with and I got all cold.)

Aaaaaand sillier… Continue Reading →

August 8, 2014
by MissShapen
12 Comments

Dirty Flirty Thirty

Hello, Gentle Readers!  How have you all been?  I have been away oh so long.  It has been an eventful few months.  Almost too much to ramble on about in a blog post, really, but I’ll try to give a quick rundown…

Since I last posted, I have:

1) Turned 30!  *throws confetti in the air*

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I am sooooo psyched about this.
Oh wait no.

2) Lost my job!  *throws more confetti*

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This is thrilling! Just thrilling I tell you!

3) In different ways, lost both men I was dating! 

*THROWS ALL THE CONFETTI AND THEN PUTS ON MOST INSANE SMILE BEFORE COLLAPSING IN A HEAP OF WHYYYY ON THE FLOOR*

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Ta-da.

Actually, that was all in the last few weeks.  Yeah.  Tell me about it.

Not gonna lie, I was a mess for a bit.  I actually took a picture of myself mid-sob-fest because even while experiencing it, the level of WOE IS ME misery I had achieved kind of cracked me up.  I was going to post it here, but it is seriously the ugliest picture that has ever been taken and I don’t want you all to run away and never read again.  Blorgh.  Instead, here is a picture of Milo, who is the cutest dog in existence.

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Odds that this will be the most popular picture in the post: 100%.

Continue Reading →

August 6, 2014
by MissShapen
15 Comments

KIESKA: EVOLUTION -or- Urkye Doesn’t Irk Me, Part 2: Kieska Long

Ahoy there, Gentle Readers! In honor of my blowing through The Brog’s One Year Anniversary with nary a how-do-you-do, I’d like to begin my return to the world of blogging with a review that harkens back to those new and innocent times…

*cue wavery flashback music*

April 2nd of 2013. A delicate flower of a tough broad of a woman tentatively puts forth the first review in her new fashion blog, although she isn’t calling it a fashion blog and doesn’t actually expect anyone to read it. She’s thought a lot about what she wants to start out with, and in the end she’s picked something simple and homey. Something that always feels comfortable and is well-suited for fun, as she wants the blog to be like a hug and a laugh with a good friend for those who read it. Luckily she has just the thing, a dress from a much-beloved company in Poland that had been her introduction to clothing made especially for busty gals. The review of Urkye’s Kieska dress was a modest affair, just a few pictures taken by the window one afternoon on a sunny day, but people seemed to like it, and it spurred her on. Review after review, goofy lingerie Christmas post after manifesto on modesty, sports-bra-review-turned-body-positive-take-on-fitspo-memes after Huffingon Post feature (couldn’t resist, sorry) always inspired by the kindness and interest of her Gentle Readers,whom she adored…In this way, The Brog was born. And one long, interesting, and fashion-filled year later…

*cue return of the flashback music, perhaps in retrograde motion*

So here we are. April of 2014. 20-frickin’-14 people! My, where does the time go? In any case, thank you for being here, whether you are a longtime reader or a new friend. I’d like to bring things back to the beginning now with a review of something familiar but new: Urkye’s Kieska Long.

KieskaStandingDuoA (long) while ago, Urkye contacted me and offered to let me preview and review a new offering they were coming out with: a long-sleeved version of the Kieska dress I already knew and loved so well. Obviously I jumped at the chance, and not too long afterwards it appeared on my doorstep. I was going to be the first blogger to review it! My first premier! It was so exciting! I decided to review it as I had the first – in a comfortable setting, in my apartment (which I love). I wanted to spice it up a bit, so I planned a dinner party theme. Pasta, merriment, and well-fitting clothing… What could be better, I thought? Well, Gentle Readers, it turns out that it is really surprisingly difficult to just get some people to come over for dinner these days. Who knew? Two weeks or so and two failed dinner party attempts later, Holly over at The Full-Figured Chest put out her lovely review, and the premier was lost. I could have wept, lovelies. And then there were all sorts of photography issues, and, and, and… And now it’s some-undisclosed-amount-of-months later, and I’m finally putting this up. With apologies to Urkye for my egregious timing, I must admit that there is a part of me that is happy to be doing this now. It feels like I’ve come full circle, and it’s a happy start to the brog’s second year. So without further ado (THANK YOU, say the readers), here is my review of the wine-colored Kieska Long.

This dress is definitely a casual one, but there’s something about it that makes me feel like it works for low-key special occasions as well. A stay-at-home date, for example, might be just the right sort of thing for which to slip on this form-fitting but comfortable little number. I love to cook, so I planned a quiet evening (well, as quiet as an evening involving me can be), wiggled into the dress, and got to work. Continue Reading →

May 6, 2014
by MissShapen
11 Comments