Weirdly Shaped and Well Photographed

… a blog about clothing for curves, bras for giant boobs (and tiny backs!), and escaping the scourge of the dreaded BoobLoaf and ButtChest.

Straight Talk: Christmas Jew Edition


Gentle Readers, I haven’t been around much lately, but I have something to say about it for once that isn’t pitiful groveling.  If you have been following the brog for a while, you know that I am a musician by day and an intrepid blogger only by night (and generally late, late night at that).  So I suppose you can imagine what the holidays entail for me: SUDDEN WORK INSANITY.  Nearly more than I can manage.  So this time, I’ve gotta say – you really must forgive my absence.  There was nothing else to be done.  And for that matter, you’re probably going to find that every year around the end of November, I will mysteriously disappear for a few weeks.  I’d say “it’s not you, it’s me,” but it really isn’t.  It’s the holidays.  However, this doesn’t mean I don’t think of you!  I do.  Always.  In light of this, I thought I would let you in on another thing that happens Chez Miss Shapen in December.  I’m not religious, but I identify as a Bacon Jew for most of the year (shows both my level of observance and my great love of bacon, which is unending).  Sometime in early December, however, a mysterious transformation takes place, and a new Miss Shapen emerges as The Christmas Jew.  This year’s holiday season was incredibly hectic – more than usual, even – and a bit rough, and it was beginning to look like The Christmas Jew was going to sit this one out, but lo!  Come Christmas Eve, she showed up, enthusiastic as ever, and she wanted to share some of that cheer and (c)ho (c)ho chutzpah with all of you.  Since this is a Brog, not just a blog, some lingerie had to be involved.  So without further ado, here is Christmas With Miss Shapen, just for you.

I started out with an all red ensemble, mostly because my robe is red and cozy.
photo 41But then the robe got too restrictive for the massive amount of cheer radiating out of my pores, so I shed it.

photo 12

And then it was time to get excited about presents!

photo 11


photo 21

Milo got jealous, so I put down the presents for a minute so we could have a cuddle.

photo 31Then I remembered that Milo always looks sad in pictures, and it put a damper on my mood.  Only a change of outfit could save the day.

photo 32TA-DA!  Mood salvaged!

photo 4I was so happy that I felt the need to dance around my apartment.  Merriment and hijinx ensued.

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Note: middle picture included because this blog is supposedly all about body positivity, but I generally avoid letting everyone know how completely shlumpy I am so much of the time, which is a bit of a masquerade, no? SCHLUMPY MCSCHLUMPYPANTS REVEALED AT LAST!

Then I located shortbread baked and sent to me by a dear friend, and things sort of devolved from there.

photo 1Who can pose properly when there are baked goods to be eaten?  I had to put them down to take one last picture.

photo 22

So there you have it, Gentle Readers.  Season’s Greetings from me to you.  I’m excited to be back.  I missed you.

Did you miss me?

How was your holiday season?

Let’s catch up soon.

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To give this post a little Official Brog Purpose, lets talk clothing:

Red bra and panties are the SM Malinka bra (size 60L) and Malinka Figi knickers (size 38) by Ewa Michalak. 

Lovely set, although the bra isn’t an ideal fit on me.  I wish I had taken a picture of the back of the undies, which are adorable.

Kind of like your bum is a stage with a curtain framing it.

Robe is from Victoria’s Secret, a Christmas gift from several years ago.

White bra is the PL Lilia  (size 60L) from Ewa Michalak.

In case you can’t tell, it’s a multiway bra!  Nice to have one in my arsenal.

Green bloomers, known around here as “Elf Shorts” are from Sugar Kitty Corsets and are on clearance right now for $10!

Red slipper boots with white poms are from The GAP a few years ago. 

I wonder if they have something similar now?  I love their stuff in general.


So that’s all for now!  Much love to you, Gentle Readers.