Weirdly Shaped and Well Photographed

… a blog about clothing for curves, bras for giant boobs (and tiny backs!), and escaping the scourge of the dreaded BoobLoaf and ButtChest.

Urkye Doesn’t Irk Me, Part 1: The Kieska Dress


Okay… First real post… *lets out breath* I know, it’s weird to be nervous about writing a blog post. I’ve just been planning this for so long, and I really, really want it to be good. So here goes. Let me know if/how I can make this better.

To get started with a bang, I’m going to go with a dress from a company every busty and hourglass-shaped lady should know: Urkye. For those of you who are unaware, Poland is mysteriously full of small clothing and lingerie companies that specialize in made-for-curves styles. When I picture Poland now, I just kind of see a bunch of really stylish women with giant boobs wandering around and selling things to one another. Seriously. And there, just at the corner of Nipped-In Waist Street and Giant Boobs Boulevard, is a shop called Urkye. Look in the window and you’ll see bold-colored items that look like basic staples of any standard clothing store. Put one on, though, and prepare to be amazed: they fit! Darts in all the right places! Stretch without sheerness! Seams that don’t hit at nipple level! Pardon the silliness, but I have to admit, the first time I pulled on a shirt with a below-bust seam that actually worked for me, I laughed out loud with glee. But enough. Let’s talk Kieska.

Urkye is one of several clothing companies in Europe that has dual sizing: a number for your overall body size followed by a number for your boobs. Urkye carries 34 through 42, which corresponds to about waist sizes of 25.2″ – 31.5″, and follows it with o, oo, or ooo to indicate the amount of room in the bust. Stretchy items have combined bust measurements (o/oo and oo/ooo), as they’re more forgiving. A while ago, I decided I wanted to try out a few items, but I had been debating about which size to order, as my measurements at the time put me right on the cusp of two sizes on their sizing chart. Luckily, this Kieska Dress in turquoise came up on a clothing swap I frequent in 36oo/ooo, the smaller of the two sizes I was considering. I snapped it up like an -elegant metaphor here-, and I’m so glad I did, because it fits perfectly.

This seems like a fairly simple dress, but between the amazing fit and a few quirky touches, it’s really something special. The material is thick enough to be completely opaque and not too clingy on trouble spots, but not so much as to be too warm for spring and summer. It stretches gently over curves, and the bust-friendly construction ensures that it’s not strained on top. While hardly skin-tight, it skims the waist closely enough to show off the hourglass figure perfectly.

As you get down to the hips, you find the first extra feature: roomy pockets with slightly scrunched tops. I was initially worried that they would add too much bulk and disrupt the delicate but coveted hourglass bust/waist/hips ratio, but it turns out that all they are is adorable. Well, adorable and useful! It makes me wish I were a painter, so I could stick some brushes in them or something. Alas, cello bows are too long. If nothing else, it gives me a place to put my hands.*

*random sidenote: if there is a picture of me in a group that was taken without my knowing, I am gesticulating in it. Without fail. I’m pretty sure I’m half muppet or something.

The other detail that Urkye has added, and this is one that I find to be absolutely lovely, is slightly poofed sleeves. I find that this feature adds just the right touch of femininity, eliminating any chance of the pockets making the dress seem juvenile. I may or may not have reversed that process by making the face above, but on you, dear reader, I’m sure it would look downright refined.

As you can see, the figure-hugging qualities of the dress are maintained from all angles, as is the flattering lack of cling. The dress is comfortable, too, and extremely easy to accessorize if you’re into that sort of thing. I have paired it successfully with all manner of colorful leggings and shoes, as well as an eccentric hat or two. You could easily wear a belt in a contrasting color, although I suspect that you might share my feeling that any day in which I can get away with wearing a dress WITHOUT a belt (and still have some semblance of a waistline) is a good day.

All in all, I would highly recommend both this brand and this dress, which also comes in black, wine, purple, navy, orange, red, and brown. I’ve gotten loads of compliments every time I’ve worn it.

Okay, here’s the part of the blog I want your help with. I’d like to make a comprehensive information, rating, and comparison system to give you all the best possible chance at figuring out what would fit you best and what styles you would love, complete with cross-referencing. Here is my first attempt at putting that information together (all links in this section will be to tags within the blog):

Company: Urkye
Item: Kieska Dress in Turquoise
Size: 36oo/ooo
Price: $39.70, currently on sale for $30.46 (note: you will pay through PayPal in zlotys)
Style: Casual

Fit: 10/10
Quality: 10/10
Comfort: 10/10
Value: 10/10
Style: 10/10
(I swear I’m not just being lenient. I really love this dress.)

If you like this, you might like: none yet, but I will come back and edit this as future items go up.

Fits like: see previous.

My measurements at the time of the photoshoot: 40/29/40

Other clothing items worn : Cleo Alexa bra, unknown shoes and leggings (I shop at thrift stores a lot)